On Living Authentically

Taking a Risk and Being Seen

I was standing in the local post office chatting to one of the bright and friendly female staff. I was wearing an open-necked shirt with the top buttons undone. At one point she looked at my neck and said in a curious tone, “Is that new??” She’d spotted the top of my tattoo… my secret was out! When I answered “Yes” her face lit up with delight and she enthusiastically shared how she has over twenty tattoos herself.

How it began…

For years I toyed with the idea of getting a tattoo… Just a small one of course, and in a place where other people wouldn’t see it. Each time I put the idea aside… I figured most of my friends and family wouldn’t approve. They’d warn me that “Most people who get tattoos regret them afterwards”, or, “What’s it going to look like when you’re old and wrinkled?”. I suspect the underlying issue behind people’s disapproval is a cultural one… “older white professional men” don’t get tattoos in our society!

A new perspective…

According to research, people on their death beds commonly say they wished they’d taken more risks in life. Not silly or dangerous risks, but worthwhile activities that would require stepping out of their comfort zone. Fear of failure, fear of what others think, and fear of expending time, energy and/or money, hold many people back. Activities that could enrich their lives and potentially the lives of those around them are discarded as being too hard or too costly.

I can certainly relate to this… Perhaps you can too?

The big decision…

Eighteen months ago I took the plunge. I decided I’d put my fear of others’ opinions aside, and go ahead and get a tattoo. While not an earth-shattering decision, it was a significant step for me personally. Fear of rejection by others has been big issue that I’m still working on. Choosing to not worry about what other people think required a new level of courage as I stepped into unknown territory.

The concept…

What image should I get? The tattoo could be anything I wanted. I chose a stag… a male deer with impressive antlers, standing in the bush with a doe standing at his side. The stag represents me, and I’m still looking for a new doe. Having lost my wife to breast cancer 11 years ago I would love to find a new life partner.

The inspiration…

On my wall at home I have a large picture of a magnificent stag standing in a forest glade. The picture is titled “Monarch of the Glen”.

Living in the bush on the outskirts of Yarra Glen I regularly see many animals… kangaroos, wallabies and wombats often feed in my yard. Deer are also plentiful in the surrounding forest… I’ve come across many when wandering off-track through the bush and am always on the lookout for them when driving at night.

Some may query my choice of a deer. They are an introduced animal that do damage to the bush and to farmland. My response is that deer never asked to be brought to Australia. They are still beautiful animals in their own right.

Hmm… my tattoo could aptly be called
“Monarch of the Yarra Glen” 😉😀.

The design…

I came across a tattoo artist on Facebook whose work appealed to me, so I booked an appointment with her to discuss what I had in mind. The “Monarch of the Glen” picture was the starting point. She emailed me a draft image and I replied with some desired changes. A series of drafts and comments went back and forth until we arrived at the final design.

It was during this process that the tattoo idea literally grew. The small tattoo I’d had in mind for years became a full chest tattoo. If I was going to do it, then I’d do it properly!

Getting the tattoo…

It took two full day sessions to create the tattoo.

First up the tattoo artist inked an outline of the image on my chest.

The rest of day one was spent filling in the stag’s head and antlers.

Day two was spent filling in the rest of the image. The complete tattoo took 10 hours of laying still on my back, while the tattoo artist deftly used her buzzing tattoo gun to inject the ink into my skin.

Does it hurt being repeatedly jabbed at high speed by sharp, fast-moving needles for hours? Yes, it certainly does, but the pain was bearable and the result was definitely worth it.

The tattooist did a superb job and created a high quality image. She even used touches of white ink to highlight the antlers. To ensure I was absolutely happy with the end result she finished with a series of fine adjustments, asking for my opinion after each one.

Revealing the tattoo…

Choosing to get a tattoo despite what others may think didn’t translate to immediately displaying it to all and sundry. I was hardly about to go around bare chested! And, being honest, I did feel some concern about how people would react. In the 18 months since getting the tattoo I have shown it to just a handful of people, being family and some friends.

But I’ve not kept it hidden either. The stag’s antlers are clearly visible when I wear an open-necked shirt. Quite a few people have spotted the antlers and asked me if I have a tattoo. When I say ‘yes’ they inevitably want to see it. Most times I show them photos on my phone. A couple of times, when I’ve been bold enough, and the circumstances were appropriate, I’ve taken off my shirt to reveal all.

The response has mostly been lots of oohs and aahs as people admire the image. Many express surprise that I’d choose to get a tattoo. Some make a point of saying they would never get a tattoo themselves. No doubt some people have just been polite, but the majority react very positively.

The purpose of this post

Life has taught me that being open and honest about our life experiences and the issues we face fosters deeper conversations and ultimately deeper relationships with others.

I also hope that sharing who I truly am and the real issues I face can encourage others by letting them know they are not alone. Hopefully too the lessons I’m learning along the way can help others on their own journeys.

Getting a tattoo and revealing it to others is a unique and ongoing life experience. It is teaching me new things about myself. No doubt sharing it openly will lead to some deeper conversations, which in turn may even initiate some new relationships.

On a lighter note, it’s a buzz getting people’s reactions, especially from those who are stunned that I’d get a tattoo.😀🤣🤣

© Ian W. James 12/02/2026